It’s been quite some time since I’ve entered anything into this journal. My recovery has left me couchbound for the last three weeks. I have been out of the house six or seven times at the most. Even short walks cause my stomach to cramp up.

Fortunately, my proctalgia fugax attacks have diminished in frequency to once or twice a week, which makes recovery a lot less painful overall.

My main struggle over the past four weeks has been trying to consume food and derive nutrients from it. No matter what I would eat I would be hungry within 20 minutes, and I was always very tired. I have since discovered that I was not eating enough pancreatic enzymes with my food. Since upping the enzyme intake, I am recovering faster and have even gained back some weight

Two weeks ago I had a visit with my oncologist, Dr. Ko. At that point I was so
weak from malnutrition that I was actually sitting on the floor of his office with my
head resting on the chair because I was too tired to sit. Upon seeing this, Dr. Ko said I was obviously not ready to begin chemo.

To my surprise, he said if I had not significantly improved by the third week of August, I would not be getting chemo at all because if it is not begun within 3 months of surgery, the effectiveness of chemo diminishes significantly.

You may not know this, but pancreatic cancer has a high return rate, so I definitely need more
chemo. I should add that despite the setbacks, I feel like I’m on trajectory to be well enough to make the deadline

Since being home from the hospital,  I have hardly had any visitors and have not spoken very much on the phone with anyone. This has been largely because of my utter exhaustion from lack of nutrition. That being said, I would like to thank everyone who has reached out to me for your care and concern.

Although I have not made many journal entires since being home, the warmth I am
receiving from everyone is uplifting and much appreciated.